So.. apparently I seem really unapproachable to people or something. I think that's why I hardly get any comments but tons of fav's..
A little thing most that know me on here know about me but others have yet to see. It's not that I'm unnaproachable. I don't bite unless you really really do something to piss me off... I'm just very asocial.. I don't know how to start conversations or hold them unless it's something I know a lot about. (Like Ponies, Computers, Anime, etc.) But even then, the conversation is always awkward for me as I try to think of something to say or reply with. Sometimes I fail to think of something and the other person will get mad or think I'm ignoring them. I'm not. I just fail at conversation.
If someone confides in me, unless I know the subject matter or stick to impulsive responses. Most of what I can reply with is "that sucks" or "..." or silence. It's not that I Don't care. It's not that I'm not worried for them or that I'm ignoring them. I just... don't know what to say to certain things and rather than risk saying the wrong thing.. I just freeze and lock up and tend not to answer or try to change the subject. Both of which annoy people at times.
This is so bad that I've resorted to tactics that are somewhat dishonest to make friends. Such as
1. Drawing attention to myself. I'll usually wear a t-shirt of some popular interest like anime, ponies or something, wear a necklace, dye my hair. Do something to draw the types of people I want to be friends with to ME so I don't have to search them out and talk to them first. By doing something as small as say.. Wearing a d20 necklace, I can then draw the attention of the D&D players to see me and talk to me first, therefore initiating the conversation and saving me from having to be embarrassed or enter an awkward situation.
2. Pulling a stunt. Like in public, acting out, or getting in trouble around people I think are 'cool' in order to get them to notice me and talk to me first. This somewhat backfires online and offline as they then know me to be a troublemaker or worse than I am. But at the same time it gets them to notice me or know me at least and I can change their impression of me later.
That and other things is how bad I am at talking to people offline or online. Chats, instant messaging, in person, anything. I'm ALWAYS over analyzing conversations and thinking ahead before I say anything, thinking someones thinking something and of what they're thinking of what I'm saying or going to say to what I'm going to say, always trying to mind read them. This usually ends up in me not saying anything of what I was going to say in order to avoid what could happen and thus staying silent.
That's the truth. The blogs or journals like this I find it easy to speak because I'm in a way "roleplaying". Typing as my online self instead of me. ...Or at least, by thinking that I can trick my own mind into making it easier. I in a way.. disassociate myself from them.
But yeah.. So I'm not unapproachable. I just really really suck at being social. Therefore. ASK ME ANYTHING. Anything at all you want to know and I'll answer. If you want my lifes story? Fine. IF you want to be random? Go ahead. Though I may not know how to respond. I want to get to know my watchers. I Want to try to make friends on here rather than just the friends I know from elsewhere. ... I want to work out the differences with people on here that seem to be against me or dislike me without even knowing me just from what I've said on Tumblr or DA.
Please, feel free to completely interrogate me if that may be the case.