Commissioners, art trades, people I owe. I'm sorry, I really am but your stuff may be a while coming. I really don't know when I'll have it done. This is why I didn't have anyone pay me till after, so if something came up I wouldn't rip anyone off.
But yeah.. I'm sorry.
This entire week I have gone to the hospital 5 times. Yes, 5. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and tonight. Every night is a 911 call and a hospital visit. And I don't know what to do anymore...
I have anxiety and hypochondria yeah. A chest pain is a heart attack, headache an aneurysm, leg pain a blood clot and so on. I go to the ER constantly, every few weeks, month, maybe less, maybe more... Same thing with calling 911. Between Arizona and Georgia I've probably had over 15 head CT Scans in the last 5 years.
BUT ITS NEVER BEEN "THIS" BAD BEFORE!!!
I really don't know what's wrong with me lately...
It started on the 14th, the day of the Passover or for Jehovah's Witnesses, the Memorial. Early in the day I had dizziness and felt faintish like usual. So I of course called 911, they got there, checked my vitals, said its most likely not an aneurysm and I opted not to go to the hospital. Once I managed to calm down we went to the Memorial. While sitting there I was still kind of anxiety ridden, and kept moving my head and changing positions during the talk. All of a sudden I heard a loud pop in the left side of my head near my ear. Instantly panic flooded through me and I got up, went to the door and had one of the Elder Brothers call 911. Got taken to the hospital. They did nothing, said it was a panic attack, if it was an aneurysm I'd be dead already, the usual, sent me home.
Still freaked out, I demanded Dan to take me to the hospital in another town over to get a CT Scan since this one was now bias against me. After a fight about it he finally did. Went, got my CT Scan, everything normal, no aneurysm, thought I was reassured. This was the 15th. Thought everything was normal, hahaha, no >.<
Night of the 16th! We were going over to Dan's parents. Everything seemed fine, we were talking in the car. Suddenly it was like someone submerged my head into water, my ears blocked, Dan's talking became further and further away and it was hard to hear him, my head was on fire and in pressure, etc. It didn't go away till I opened the door while he was still driving and let the pressure out of the car. Ran into his parents house, freaked out and begged them to call 911, Went to the hospital. They of course again did NOTHING, said it wasn't an aneurysm, sent me home, told me to get a Neurologist.
Finally scheduled a Neurologist appointment on the 17th. But they won't have an opening till May 5th. Yeah, a long time to wait, either way I scheduled it. Thought that day would be normal. Near 10pm, I had an episode where I couldn't breathe, I was reading and suddenly it was like someone knocked the wind out of me and made me light headed, there was pressure in my chest, and I couldn't breathe to read the next word. Then had pain in chest to back region. Called 911, went to the hospital. Demanded a blood test even after the EKG was normal to rule out heart attack completely, and was finally diagnosed with GERD (Heartburn can cause breathlessness? News to me.)
Night of 18th (Tonight) Normal? Thought it was. We were near Dan's Grandparents in the car, just got Burger King and I was eating. Suddenly had weakness in the head, couldn't hold it up, and a headache. Went in, called 911, got taken to yet ANOTHER hospital. In the waiting room waiting to be seen, had an electrical shock sensation in my neck near the base of my head. Doctor gave me a Muscle Relaxer prescription and said it might be due to the Trapezius in my neck. (I have bad posture, to the point my C1 disc is pushing against my brains tem at times, and my neck is ALWAYS in pain and out of whack.)
But I don't know what's going on! I disagree with the doctors, I don't think it's just panic, I DON'T think it's just the neck or other things. I think I honestly have an aneurysm up there. And if there's not? There's still crap going on with my head. I can feel it, it happens far too often to be normal. I don't know WHAT it is, but I have a suspicion it might be Multiple Sclerosis, now I'm NOT afraid of that, nor have I ever panicked that I had it. But when I look up the "electrical shocks in neck and head," it's the first and only thing that gets pulled up as one of the number one signs.
Another thing? MS is worse in changes of body temperature. Both times in the car, to Dan's parents and grandparents, he had just turned on the heater. I dunno, but it might be it. I'm going to try the muscle relaxer and hope things settle down.
If it they don't, I don't know when I'm going to be calm again. I don't know when I can focus on commissions or even the website I need to work on. I can't stay calm on the computer long enough without some trigger forcing me to the hospital. I can't calm this anxiety that's never been this worse. Even the Klonopin has no effect anymore. I probably won't feel better till the Neurologist rules everything out and that's not till May.
Till then I'm sorry, really really sorry.